You know, I know I should be happy.
I have a job, I have a husband, I am pregnant.
But something is still missing.
I shouldn't complain, but damn, sometimes I can't help it. I can't even help that I become a little depressed every now and again. And this is no way to live with a new life inside of me. I need to get my head together so I can be there for my growing family.
I wish I could talk more to my husband about what I am feeling, but sometimes I can't even put words to what I am feeling.
Depression sucks ass!
I can put on a happy face. Hell, I can even joke around and have fun. But at the end of the day, I get lost again inside my head of f**cked up thoughts and memories that should have left me long ago.
I am in no way suicidal. I quit being that selfish years ago. I am just stuck. Stuck in a world of sh*t that has given me many happy things. So why am I not happy all of the time?
Really? Is this how my life is going to be? F**k this sh*t.